How To Be A Player - Blueberry farm

Contents

- 0.0.1 What makes someone a player?
0.1 What makes a guy a player?

1 How am I being played?
- 1.1 Does a player fall in love?
2 What are the 4 types of players?
- - 2.0.1 Would a player text you everyday?
- 2.1 What is a big red flag in a guy?
  - 2.1.1 What makes a player fall for a girl?
3 How do you know if a girl is a player?
- 3.1 How do you spot a player?
- 3.2 How do I know I’m not being played?
  - 3.2.1 Why am I an A player?
4 Can you tell if a guy is a player?
5 Is he interested or just a player?
- 5.1 How do you know if a girl is a player?

What makes someone a player?

If you’ve been ‘played by a player’ you’ll know how upsetting and annoying it can be. But, what makes someone a player? And do we misuse the term? – These days, dating is not exactly easy. Not only do we have to deal with our own confidence issues and find someone who matches our wants and needs, but we also have to sidestep the potential of meeting a player. So, what makes someone a player? Do we blame Tinder? Do we blame TV shows and movies which make it look okay to have four or five other people on the go? Not really.

We blame the person doing the playing. The thing is, it can be very easy to label someone a player because their past didn’t live up to your expectations, or they made a mistake. Men and women can be players in equal parts, although men are more often tarred with the player brush. Is someone a player because they’ve had a few different partners in the past? Possibly, but it could equally be that they made a few wrong decisions with who they chose to date and they all ended badly.

Is someone a player because they cheated in the past? Perhaps. Again, was it one time only and they regretted it every day since? What makes someone a player isn’t just one thing. It’s about a sum of parts, several character traits and actions. A player has a tendency to avoid responsibility for the consequences of their actions while showing no remorse.

What makes a guy a player?

11. No deep conversations happen – One of the textbook characteristics of a guy who is a player is that he will go out of his way to avoid being emotionally invested in you. Most women miss this sign, even though this is one of the early signs a guy is a player, something you can even catch on a first date if you pay attention.

He will rarely, if ever, talk about his feelings on a particular matter and simply avoid any serious conversations.
He might talk about everything under the sun, from what kind of coffee he drinks to the time he went sailing with his friends.
And at first, this will feel like a good sign.
But it is actually a clue that he will break your heart,

He makes sure you have a great time with him, discussing all kinds of random, fun things. And he will certainly be romantic, convincing you that he won’t lose interest in you. But if you pay attention to his words, they will be superficial. His words will never real who he really is on the inside or anything significant about his personal life.

One of the telltale signs he’s playing around with you is that not only will he not talk about his feelings much, he will also try to actively distract you when you talk about yours.
You don’t need a relationship coach to tell you this, you just need to pay attention to how your conversation flows.
Indulging in deep conversations needs a certain level of vulnerability.

And vulnerability tends to lead toward emotional intimacy and attachment. And emotions are a playboy’s kryptonite.

How am I being played?

Think they’re too good to be true? They just might be. – Photo by cottonbro from Pexels What’s worse than having feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them? Being strung along by them because they made you think they care. Players are manipulative by nature. They get away with their actions because the people who they play don’t realize it’s happening.

My first encounter with a player happened in high school. His name was Casey, a shaggy-haired blonde lacrosse player. When I found out he was interested in me, I thought I’d struck gold. Casey and his friends joined mine on canoeing trips. We all went to movies and hung out at the mall. But even though Casey essentially acted like my boyfriend, he avoided the subject altogether.

But I acted like I didn’t care. He ended up asking me to prom, and of course, I said yes. But during the actual dance, Casey ditched me to hang out with his friends. Even at the after-party, he left, and I didn’t see him until school the following week.

Casey had no intention of seriously dating me. He just wanted a good time: a cute girl to make out with and the perks of having a girl, but not actually having a girlfriend. Players come in all shapes and sizes and, apparently, start as early as high school. While you can’t avoid players coming into your life, you can avoid getting played by being aware of the signs: When I compare men who played me to the ones who became my boyfriend, it’s clear they have one over-arching difference.

Players don’t try to change their life, so yours fit together. They insert you into what works for them. If the person you’re dating makes every plan without asking your opinion, you’re most likely being played. If compromising is non-existent in your relationship, again, you’re being played.

Someone who cares about you and sees things lasting long-term will take your opinions and preferences into account.
You’ll feel like equals, not like you’re simply along on their ride.
Let me make this clear: nobody, player or not, who cares about you will make your insecurities the butt of their jokes.

That’s not just mean; it’s cruel. If you’re in a situation where the person you’re dating continually makes fun of you, run the other way. It’s never a good sign if someone thinks hurting you is funny. You should feel safe in a relationship, not just physically, but emotionally, too.

Overtime, internalizing those kinds of jokes is going to take a beating on your psyche. Not even the most beautiful, strong flower can weather a storm for too long. What happens when you ask the person you’re dating to stop making fun of you? How about if you say it’s weird that they go radio-silent for days? If the person you’re dating’s response is that you’re being crazy, you’re probably being played.

A player doesn’t want to be accountable for their actions; they just want to have fun. By deflecting the blame and making you look like the bad person, they avoid any negative emotions. Anytime you bring up an issue to someone you’re dating, you deserve to have it be met with respect.

That means having a mature conversation about your feelings and coming to an understanding.
Calling someone crazy is manipulative and not something you want to stick around for.
Remember how I said Casey disappeared after prom without a single word? Well, he did that more times than once.
In fact, when he would text me back or ask to hangout felt like a game of whack-a-mole.

But I was in high school; now that we’re all grown adults, we know better than to give someone our energy who gives us barely any of theirs. Infrequent communication, with little to no explanation, is a sign someone is hiding something. That or, they are purposely pushing you away because they felt like both of you were getting too close.

Regular texts and honest explanation of what someone’s up to with their life is not too much to want from the person you’re dating. In fact, it’s healthy. If you’re thinking, “Yea, they do all of the above, but when we’re together, things are great!” then I have some bad news for you. Players want to seem amazing.

They desire for you to want them. So when they’re with you, a player acts like the best person in the world, maybe even as if they’re your significant other. It’s a means of getting what they want, whether that be sex, money, affection, or praise. If you’re always saying, “They’re too good to be true!” but have some of these other warning signs, chances are the person you’re dating is too good to be true.

And it’s better to figure that out now than later.
Instead of only focusing on the good, take note of the bad as well.
It’s easy to romanticize a relationship, and think it’s better than it is when reflecting on it.
But doing so will keep you stuck in a place where you’re strung along by someone who isn’t worth your time.

Is the person pushy about hanging out when they want to? How about pressuring you to have sex? Or what about sending them nudes? Again, a player will have self-serving needs that they want to be met, even if it’s at the expense of your comfortability.

They don’t care about your boundaries because, why would they? You’re not their partner. I’ve had many people I casually dated pressure me into having sex, and when I said no, they ghosted maybe a week later. Coincidence? I think not. In a healthy relationship, the person you’re dating respects your boundaries,

They want to respect your needs and make you feel safe, and if that means they don’t get what they want, then that’s OK. Once you’ve identified someone’s a player, it’s not that easy to let go of them. You may feel attached because that’s how their games work.

Does a player fall in love?

Do Players Fall in Love? – There is hope. A player can fall in love. So, before you write the relationship off completely, remember that their nonchalant attitude towards partners may be due to a past hurt or trauma. The player mentality is often a defense mechanism where it is easier to accumulate many informal relationships rather than one deep one.

Commitment issues A high sex drive Past emotional scarring A social circle validating multiple partners Childhood trauma — affecting how he forms relationships Ego-driven expectations

Love requires respect, trust, and honesty, developing over time. Consequently, the casual nature of a player’s attitude toward relationships usually precludes the development of deeper feelings. That doesn’t mean that these casanovas are incapable of love. On the contrary, when a player falls in love, they can and do settle down. And once committed to a relationship, they are all in.

What are the 4 types of players?

The Take Away – There are four player types according to Bartle: Socializers, Explorers, Achievers and Killers. A gamification environment may consist of all or any combination of these types. Careful player research will help you to understand which player types dominate the environment and thus help define how you will cater to their needs.

Would a player text you everyday?

What It Means When a Guy Texts You Everyday: Is He a Player?

1 Most players won’t text you every day. Players typically don’t invest a ton of time into chasing someone—they’ve got too many girls to go after. Also, a player will usually have enough confidence to ask you out relatively quickly. As a result, the odds are pretty low he’s a player if he’s texting you every day for weeks on end.
- Still, if a player doesn’t have many prospects right now, he may have the time and patience to take it slow by texting you every day. It’s unlikely, but it could happen.
2 It’s actually more likely he’s not a player if he’s super responsive. If he texts you every single day, it means he’s really invested in you. That points more towards “good long-term partner” than player. There are plenty of reasons a guy might text you daily that have nothing to do with being a player. For example:
- He could just be shy. A shy guy may find texting their crush to be easier than conversation on the phone, since he can think through their responses.
- He might be a little lonely. A guy who doesn’t have a huge social circle will have plenty of time to dedicate to your text conversations.
- He’s not worried about playing it “cool.” Players often play coy when they like someone, but if a guy is dedicating tons of time talking to you, he’s not worried about the way it comes off.
- He really really likes you. Look, when you’re head over heels, you’re likely to do everything you can to stay in contact with someone. This may be Mr. Right if you feel the same way.

1 He only texts you late at night or when he wants to “chill.” If you feel like a booty call, that feeling means something. Players are often mainly interested in the physical part of a relationship, so if you tend to get a lot of texts from him after 10PM or he only reaches out to hang out alone together at his home, he’s probably a player.
- The and “” texts are classic player moves.
- A drunk text—especially out of nowhere—is another sign he may not want something serious.
- Don’t expect an exclusive relationship from a player.
2 Your conversations feel kind of superficial. A player won’t care about what your childhood was like, or what your dreams and aspirations are. If your convos trend more towards surface-level chitchat, it’s a potential sign that he isn’t really invested in you as a person.
- If there’s a ton of “haha” and “lol” in his responses, you may not be texting a guy who genuinely likes you.
- A guy who genuinely likes you will do everything he can to get to know you super well.
3 You can’t tell if he actually likes you or not. Players are usually master manipulators, and they try to draw girls in by playing mind games or being evasive. If a guy actually likes likes you and he wants a genuine relationship, you won’t have to read between the lines. He’ll flirt, compliment you, and be super responsive.
- Your gut feeling means a lot here. If you feel like something is “off,” you may be talking to a player.
4 He’s super forward when he flirts. A guy who really cares about you would never risk insulting you over text by being too aggressive with their advances. They’ll flirt, but it will be a softer, friendlier, and “safer” kind of flirting. A player, on the other hand, is very likely to shoot their shot quickly without putting much thought into it.
- For example, “You’re so sweet!” and, “I love the way you always know what to say 🥰” are so friendly and supportive that the guy clearly wants you to feel good and cares.
- On the other hand, things like, “D*mn you’re hot,” and, “I want to do X to you,” are so forward that it’s obvious they aren’t taking your feelings into account.
5 He’s much more responsive in person. A player is going to be much more motivated to be receptive and active when you two are hanging out, since it’s an opportunity for him to woo you and get something out of it. If he feels like a totally different person when you two hang IRL, you may be right to be suspicious of his intentions.
- You can tell a guy may be a player if he never wants to hang out in groups, too. A guy with genuine interest will totally hang out with you while his friends are around.

It means you two probably have a close relationship. A guy may or may not have a crush on you, but he definitely cares about you! Nobody texts someone that much if they don’t care about them. He may want to be friends, or he may want a romantic relationship.
- If his texts are especially flirty, he regularly texts you first, or he texts you first thing in the morning, he probably likes you.
- If his texts are super straightforward, he doesn’t flirt, or he doesn’t text you back quickly, he likely just wants to be friends.

Yes, guys with a crush will tend to text you a ton. If a guy is interested in being with you, they’ll definitely be responsive and present when it comes to staying in contact via text. It’s not an automatic given that he likes you if he’s texting a lot, but it’s definitely a big possibility. You can tell he likes you if he:
- Messages you throughout the day. A guy who likes you will text a lot—even when they’re busy.
- Uses a lot of playful emojis. Emojis like 😉, 😏, and 😇 are all slightly suggestive and flirty. A guy won’t use these a lot if he doesn’t like you.
- Compliments you a lot. A guy who just wants to be friends wouldn’t put a ton of effort into saying they like your hair, personality, style, etc.
- Uses pet names or nicknames. If a guy calls you “cutie,” “sweetheart,” or “babe,” they’re 100% into you.

1 You might be happy dating a player, if you’re okay with a quick fling. Players aren’t monsters, they just know what they want and they want something very specific—physical intimacy in the short term. If you’re into that, go for it! There’s nothing wrong with a shorter relationship that’s a little more focused on the hooking up side of things.
- Don’t feel bad about dating a player. There are no “right” or “wrong” partners—there are just right and wrong partners for you depending on your needs.
- Just make sure you set some checks and balances for yourself before you start dating a player, so you can be sure that they’re honoring your boundaries.
2 If you genuinely like the guy and you don’t get over invested, you’ll be happy. If you’re the kind of person who tends to fall hard for people, it may be tough to date a player. But if you’re pretty good about understanding boundaries and you can compartmentalize your feelings, go for it! Nobody said relationships need to last forever, and if you like this guy, you shouldn’t worry about him being Mr. Forever.
- It’s okay for relationships to end. So long as you’re happy spending time with someone when the odds are good you won’t last a super long time, it’s totally fine.
3 You may want to avoid dating a player if you want a long-term thing. If you really aren’t interested in a quick fling and you really value emotional intimacy and availability, dating a player may not be the right move for you. And that’s perfectly fine! You should never change what you want when looking for love, and there’s nothing wrong with giving a player a pass.
- You can always give a player a shot and just see what happens when you start dating. If he turns out to be everything you thought he’d be, move on! Maybe he’ll surprise you, though.

Ask a Question Advertisement Co-authored by: Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Kate Dreyfus is a dedicated Holistic Love Coach, Holistic Empowerment Coach, Heart-Centered Expert, Intuitive Healer, Workshop Facilitator, and Owner of Evolve & Empower.

She has more than ten years of experience supporting her clients successfully entering exclusive, romantic relationships within the USA, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Europe.
Ate is devoted to helping others through personal growth and transformation, success in dating and romance, and healing and rebuilding after a breakup.

She is also a member of The Biofield Institute, the Healing Touch Professional Association, and the Energy Medicine Professional Association. Kate holds a BA in Psychology from San Francisco State University. This article has been viewed 130,897 times.

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What is a big red flag in a guy?

What are red flags in a relationship? – Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior, They are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. However, they tend to grow bigger and become more problematic over time.

Red flags are often used in conversations around toxic or abusive relationships.
Toxicity can present itself in any close relationship: friends, colleagues, family members, or partners.
Red flags in a guy or girl can be signs of narcissism, aggression, victimization, or even abusive behavior.
By becoming aware of some common red flags, you can avoid getting involved in a toxic relationship.

When you encounter relationship red flags, it’s a good time to pause and reflect on the dynamic you really share with that person. Often, toxic behavior is subtle and insidious. It creeps up on us in moments of weakness, and if we cannot fight against it, it can take control over our lives.

What makes a player fall for a girl?

11. Be Desirable – Players are attracted to beauty, intelligence, wit, and charm. If you can show him all of these qualities, he will be more likely to fall for you. So, ensure you take care of yourself by exercising regularly, eating healthy, and looking your best.

How do you know if a girl is a player?

Sure, you’ve had some shaky relationships in the past—some ex-girlfriends who were a little too high maintenance —but nothing’s worse than being played. If you nabbed the girl who’s out of your league, but have a hunch she’s lying, maybe even cheating on you, take a look at the most common signs a woman’s got you wrapped around her finger (in all the wrong ways), according to Paulette Kouffman Sherman, Ph.D, psychologist, relationship coach, and author of The Book of Sacred Baths, Take note of these red flags. They might mean you’re her back-up plan, side guy, or just a short-term diversion.7 Reasons She Turned You Down >>> She Always Bails on Plans It’s infuriating. It’s rude. It’s disrespectful. If she’s super flaky and dips out on dinner plans often, drop her. “If she doesn’t honor your time or feelings or make you feel important, then you might want to ask yourself why you want to start a serious relationship with her,” Sherman says. If you’re not a priority in the beginning of the relationship, that sets the precedent for how things will continue. What to Consider Before You Get Back Together With Her >>> She’s Constantly Flirting With Other Men “It’s as important to look at a person’s actions as it is to listen to his/her words,” Sherman says. If she says she’s being exclusive to you, but you catch her chatting up other men at every available opportunity, that’s a red flag. And if she’s constantly flirting in front of you—with the waiter, or worse, your friends—that’s a sign she isn’t looking to settle down any time soon. Financial Advice for Couples Moving in Together >>> You’ve Never Been to Her Place If you’ve been seeing a girl for over a month and you’ve never been to her place, meanwhile she’s been to yours a dozen times, there’s a reason. “Ask yourself: ‘Is she messy? Does she have roommates? Is she hiding something?'” Sherman says. There’s a good chance that “something” she’s hiding is a someone if she scrambles to come up with an excuse why you can’t come to her apartment. “The only way to know for sure is to ask. If she says no, see if she gives you a reason why.” If it’s substantial, like her younger brother is staying with her for the summer before he goes back to college, great; if she has nothing to say, you might be her side guy. This Is How to Pick Up Women at the Gym >>> She Won’t Take Any Pictures With You There could be a number of reasons she doesn’t want pictures of the two of you. But it all comes down to the context of the situation. If she doesn’t want a trail on her social media, it could be because she just got out of a relationship and doesn’t want people bombarding her with questions about this new guy in her life. Conversely, she might want to keep you under wraps if she’s currently in a relationship or wants to keep her options open so she’s free to date whomever she wants. “Don’t assume this, but if a number of things point to her being non-committal this could be a piece of that puzzle,” Sherman adds.18 Best Ever Outdoor Date Ideas of All Time >>> She Won’t Let You Meet Her Friends or Family “Some people think you should wait a while to introduce a date to family, but if you’ve been together for a few months normally you’d expect to at least meet a few friends,” Sherman says. Haven’t met either? If she’s hesitant, implore. She might not know how to explain your relationship to friends and family—especially if you haven’t had a chat about exclusivity. Ask her to introduce you to some of her closest guy and girl friends, first. If she shoots the idea down, there’s a good chance she doesn’t see this as a long-term relationship and doesn’t want to complicate things. We Asked 20 Women: What’s the Worst Pick Up Line You’ve Ever Heard? >>> You’re an Alias in Her Phone If you happen to notice your name in her phone is something entirely different, or worse, a girl’s name that’s a straight up red flag. You don’t need to panic if she has a nickname or a joke from the first time you met—like Sir Sweats A Lot if you met at the gym. “But you’d think someone would only have an alias for a date if they were hiding that person from someone else,” Sherman says. Ask her about it. But know going in, if she’s lying about being with you, she probably won’t have a hard time lying to your face, too.6 Easy Ways to Get Your Girlfriend to Forgive You >>> She Never Spends the Night You’ve seen it half a million times in comedies. The guy has a taxi ordered for the girl before she can get all her clothes back on. If this feels like a real-life scenario for you, and she’s always running for the door, there’s a chance she’s only in it for the physical. “Sometimes if a person is not that serious about a relationship, they don’t want to stay and cuddle after sex or spend a lot of time together,” Sherman says. “This keeps things light.” If you want more, then a conversation needs to happen to determine if you’re on the same page.7 Reasons She Turned You Down >>> She Never Refers to You as Her Boyfriend “If there’s no title and you’ve been together for a while now, it could be because you aren’t exclusive or she wants to keep her options open,” Sherman says. If she introduces you as her “friend” after a few months and it bothers you, then it’s up to you to say something. “If you want more and she clearly doesn’t, you may choose to move on to someone who wants the same kind of relationship you do,” she adds. This Woman Went on 52 First Dates in a Year. Here’s What She Wants Guys to Know About Relationships >>> She’s Hot and Cold One minute she’s all in, asking you to go on vacation with her six months out; the next, she’s putting major distance between you and saying things were never serious. “Often when people are hot and cold, they’re confused and unsure what they want, so their behavior reflects this,” Sherman says. To make a complicated situation simple: Find someone who’s consistently into you, and happy to be all in. It’s not fair for her to pull you back and forth. How to Get the Girl Who’s Out of Your League >>> She Never Talks About Your Future You don’t want your new chick of three weeks mapping out your life together, but if you’ve been together for close to a year and she never talks about making plans two or three months out, you may want to investigate. “Sometimes when a person you’re dating never talks about the future, it can be an indication that this is just fun, in the present, with no strings attached,” Sherman says. Maybe she doesn’t see you in her future or she doesn’t know what her future holds. “Either way,if you see a future and want a relationship that’s moving forward, you may need to clarify whether your visions are even in the same ballpark,” Sherman adds. How to Introduce Yourself to a Woman Without Coming Off Like a Total Stalker >>>

How do you spot a player?

How to Spot a Player (with Pictures)

1 Watch out for over-confidence. Healthy self-confidence is great, but there’s a difference between being confident and being cocky. If you think this guy seems a little too confident in his efforts to win you over, it could be because he’s had plenty of practice.
- Most people become at least a little nervous around people they’re attracted to. A confident guy isn’t necessarily a player, but if he doesn’t break a sweat while asking you out or seems rather aloof about the whole deal, he might not be that serious about you.
2 Calculate the age gap. If the man is old enough to be your father, it could be a bad sign. Older players who are set in their ways frequently target younger, less experienced women who are easier to trick.
- Not every older man is a player, of course, but if there’s a huge age gap and he exhibits other signs of being a player, that age gap may work against him.
- Similarly, not every player is an older man. There are plenty of young players out in the world, too.
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3 Glance at the phone. When he’s texting someone, lean in his direction and peek at his phone. You don’t even need to see the screen; in fact, you’ll learn more by keeping your eyes on him. If the guy’s a player, he’ll probably yank his phone away faster than you can blink.
- Moreover, if he’s always on his phone or looks at it more than he looks at you, that could be another bad sign.
- This piece of advice isn’t an invitation to swipe his phone and look at his call log, though. Many people view that as an invasion of privacy, and even guys who aren’t players might get upset at the breach of trust. You usually won’t need his text or call history as evidence, anyway, since being overprotective of his phone is a bad enough sign on its own.
4 Track him down. Pay attention to the places he frequents when you’re not around. If he still visits the same spots he went to when he was single and picking up women, there’s a good chance that he’s still in the habit of charming the ladies there.
- This does not mean that you should stalk him. A healthier way to find out where he’s going is ask around and find out who might’ve seen him and where he was when it happened. You could also try visiting the spot you met him on an evening he might be there.

1 Beware of flattery. Honest compliments are sweet, but you probably shouldn’t trust someone who’s quick to flatter you to an excessive degree. Players often rely on this sort of “sweet talk” to win over women.
- Pay attention to the types of compliments he gives you. If they’re general, overused compliments that could apply to nearly any woman—beautiful hair, gorgeous smile, etc.—it could be a sign that he isn’t putting much thought into who you are and what makes you special. You should also be cautious around men who specifically compliment your insecurities.
- Similarly, most players are quick to address you with one or more pet names, like “honey,” “sugar,” and “baby.” Pet names that develop after an extended relationship are usually okay, but be wary around guys who use pet names from day one.
2 Don’t dismiss dishonesty. Players are also liars. Catching him in the middle of a lie can be difficult, but when you do, you shouldn’t shrug it off. This is especially true if he’s lied to you more than once.
- Lies about his past, where he spent time recently, or who he’s been with are some of the most common ones to watch out for.
- If you’re suspicious about something and confront him about it, watch his reaction. Players will generally try to laugh it off and change the topic. When that doesn’t work, they may admit to the truth but somehow blame you for their lie.
3 Consider the player’s life story. Most players are egotistical, so they’ll start talking about themselves before you even have the chance to ask. If a guy hasn’t shared much about his own life, though, ask him about it and watch for inconsistencies.
- Everyone wants to look good in front of someone they’re attracted to, but the player will usually look a little too good. If his life story seems scripted and too good to be true, it probably is.
- Pay attention to the details. If some of the details don’t match up, it could be an indication that he’s lying about who he is.
4 Share your own story. Since most players are overly concerned with themselves, they don’t have much time to be concerned with other people. A guy who is genuinely interested in you will want to know about your life and your passions, but a player won’t take the time to find out.
- Skilled players may know well enough to ask about your life, but won’t be interested enough to remember what you say. Bring up things you’ve talked about in past conversations. It’s probably fine if he occasionally forgets about small details, but it’s usually a bad sign if he makes a habit of forgetting.
5 Talk about past relationships. Ask about his past relationships and talk about yours. These conversations provide the player with opportunities to manipulate your feelings.
- He may ask about your past relationships and fixate on the insecurities you felt during those times. By knowing what makes you insecure, he can figure out how to work that to his advantage.
- When talking about his own past relationships, he may leave out many of the details but stress that he’s been hurt in the past. A quick mention of past hurts may not be bad, but if he plays it up to evoke pity from you, it may be another manipulation tactic.
6 Defend your own innocence. Players will often accuse the women they’re seeing of cheating on them. Usually, this is done in an attempt to steer the attention away from their own guilt and their own cheating ways.

1 Value your own time. Pay attention to how the guy asks you out and how he responds when you invite him. Good guys will value your time, but a player won’t.
- Players usually ask you out on short notice. Since they aren’t genuinely looking forward to seeing you, they turn you into a backup plan and ask you out only when they don’t have anything “better” lined up for an evening.
- If you always get a “maybe” from the guy when you ask him out, it could mean that he doesn’t want to commit in case another, more preferable offer comes up. A man who frequently cancels last-minute might do so for similar reasons.
2 Avoid hot-and-cold behavior. Players are inconsistent in their affections and may sway from one extreme to the other. You may not hear from him in weeks, and then suddenly, he’ll start bombarding you with more attention than you can handle.
- During “cold” periods, there’s a good chance that he’s spending his time with other women and is too busy with them to bother with you.
- During his “hot” periods, he’s either lost his other options or lost interest in them. As a result, he returns to you in an effort to fill the void.
3 Change up your meeting place. If the two of you always meet at night, try asking him for a daytime date. Most players will strongly resist and reject the idea, and the excuses they give for doing so are usually pretty lame.
- If you can’t change the time of the date, try changing the nature of it. Instead of spending time alone or going out for drinks, go somewhere with plenty of people and very little alcohol. The guy’s odds of getting you into bed will decrease when you do this, so if he’s a player, he won’t be willing to make the change.
4 Maintain eye contact. Try to maintain eye contact when you’re together in a public venue. Your eyes don’t need to be locked the entire time, but his eyes should be directed your way for most of the date.
- Note that the occasional wandering eye may not be a terrible sign, but if his eyes are constantly wandering toward other people, there’s a problem. Similarly, a wandering eye that remains stuck on another woman is also a bad sign.
5 Move slowly. A player only cares about your body—and, more precisely, whether or not he gets to enjoy it. One of the best ways to weed out the players is to take things slow with every guy you meet. Players won’t have the patience to stick around.

1 Take it public. If you’re in a relationship with a player, you’re probably not the only woman he’s seeing. Making your relationship public will make it easier for his lies to be exposed to both you and the other women, and for that reason, he’ll usually reject the idea of being public about it.
- The way he treats you in public will be one good indication. If he refuses to treat you with any special affection or treats you just as affectionately as other women, it might be his way of keeping your relationship a secret. To that end, he might also avoid spending time with you in certain places if he thinks there’s a better chance of being caught there.
- Check social media accounts, too. If he refuses to be “friends” or “followers” with you, or if he never responds to any public comments you make toward him, it could be a sign that he’s trying to hide your relationship. Refusing to update his “relationship status” might be another social media clue.
2 Get to know the friends. Try to spend time with his friends. Most players won’t want you anywhere near their friends, and it won’t be because they’re afraid of another man stealing you away.
- If he lets you meet his friends, he takes the risk that someone within the group will slip and reveal information about his true self.
- If you do meet his friends, watch his behavior around them. Some players will drop their guard and show their true colors when they’re hanging around their buddies.
3 Introduce your own family and friends. Invite him to meet your friends and family. Since a player isn’t serious about you, he will usually refuse such offers or make excuses to get out of them at the last minute.
- Moreover, friends and relatives with a keen eye might be able to spot a player when they see one. A player who agrees to meet your loved ones would have to take the risk of being discovered by someone like that.
4 Ask for opinions. Ask around about the guy and find out if there are any rumors about him. People in his own social circle might cover for him, but anyone who isn’t attached to him won’t have a need to do so.
- Ask your close friends to do their own investigating on your behalf, as well. They probably have a few connections you don’t have, and one of those connections might have helpful information.
- You could even consider talking with the guy’s ex-girlfriends, but do so with caution. Some exes will intentionally paint a bad picture as an act of revenge. Additionally, an ex-girlfriend who believes that you “stole” the guy away from her may take out her negative feelings on you.
5 Watch how others are treated. Players lack respect for you, but that’s because they lack respect for everyone. It can be difficult to tell when a guy is disrespecting you, but it’ll probably be easier to detect disrespect he shows toward others.
- Pay particular attention to the way he treats and talks about other women. Even disrespect he shows toward female relatives can indicate an overall sense of disrespect toward women in general.
- Watch how he treats workers at the places you visit, too. Players may relish in the authority they have over these staff members.

Question How do you tell if he’s genuine or a player? Relationship Coach Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master’s in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. Players are typically only looking for a good time and not genuine connection. If you notice they’re giving lots of compliments or getting physically close, but they’re not asking you questions about yourself or engaging in conversation, you might be dealing with a player. These types of people are not focused on taking relationships to another level and simply just want to have fun.

Ask a Question Advertisement What is one possible sign that a man is a player? This article was co-authored by, Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships.

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Updated: January 20, 2023
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 119,481 times.

“I really liked this boy. He was so sweet to me, but all of my friends called him a player. A few weeks later I saw him flirting with one of my best friends. I couldn’t bear to see him, so I just avoid him now. This has proved he is a player; I felt so stupid, gullible and hurt.”,”

: How to Spot a Player (with Pictures)

How do I know I’m not being played?

Download Article A guide to catch all the warning signs and steer clear of players Download Article If you’re worried about dating a player, you might be wondering how you can spot one early and save yourself the future heartache. Luckily, players are easy to avoid once you know which telltale signs to look out for. Read on to learn all the signs you’re getting played and how to prevent it in the future.

1 They “love-bomb” you and get clingy suspiciously fast. Players pretend to catch feelings fast, complimenting you excessively and flattering you with constant attention to get you to fall for them. If they start telling you how much they care deeply about you before you really even know one another, this behavior could be an act.
- A player might call every night, text all day, and perhaps even fall asleep on the phone with you at night right at the beginning of the relationship. They might also want to spend as much time together as possible.
- Players might also give you an affectionate nickname like “babe” or “cutie pie” to make you feel more connected to them.
- Early in the relationship, stick to your personal schedule and limit the number of weekly dates to 1 or 2 if your date seems overeager. Take your time. They won’t try to monopolize your time if they’re serious!
2 They talk about sex early on in the dating process. Players tend to be more interested in sex than they are in you; they might ask you about your sex life, the people you’ve slept with, or proposition you right on the first date. Although they may be naturally curious about it, talking about your sex life early on isn’t essential to building a good, genuine relationship.
- Some players might even try to seduce you before you’ve even had the chance for a proper date. While this is perfectly fine for a casual fling, it’s not a good sign if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
- They might suggest that being intimate right away will help you get to know one another, but that’s likely a sign that they’re looking for a hookup—not a relationship.
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3 They make extreme promises but don’t follow through. Players love to make dramatic, romantic declarations designed to steal your heart and make you think they’re the one. However, a partner’s actions are more important than their words. A player will loudly vow to treat you right—but a genuine person would simply do it without making the declaration.
- For example, a player might say, “I would never treat you like that,” or “I’ll take care of you forever!” Those are sweet things to say, but their actions should always back up their promises.
4 They ghost you for long periods of time. After turning on the charm, a player will suddenly stop answering your calls and texts consistently. They might leave you hanging for days at a time, sporadically texting you and then not answering for long intervals. The point of texting and calling is to build a stronger relationship—so someone who drops you without a word is probably a player.
- It’s okay if someone leaves you hanging once or twice and comes back with a valid reason—after all, life can be unpredictable.
- Think about their circumstances before assuming they’re a player. For example, they’re probably just busy if they don’t text you for several hours during the work day.
5 They won’t make plans or commitments. Players often appear to suddenly lose interest, leaving you to chase after them. If you’re trying to schedule every date and the other person still says they’re “busy” more often than not, you might be dealing with a player. However, a player will still show interest in sex, often jumping at the chance to get together for intimacy but bailing on dates.
- A player also has a ton of excuses for why they can’t spend time with you. Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” they’ll make an excuse to get you to drop the issue or say you’re overreacting when your feelings are justified.
- If you’re dating a player, it’ll feel like you’re no longer a priority. Remember that no matter how much you liked them in the beginning, you don’t deserve to feel like that!
6 They don’t respect your boundaries. A healthy relationship involves respecting one another’s physical and emotional boundaries, which players struggle to do. They’ll expect you to be free when they want to hang out but won’t accommodate your schedule.
- Study their reactions as well. If you say “no,” do they start to show you less interest? If this is the case, then it may be time to consider cutting them loose or taking a step back.
- Remember that ignoring boundaries in a relationship is never okay. Nobody should push you to do something you don’t want to do—and if they try to make you feel guilty, they’re not worth your time!
7 They won’t go public with the relationship. Players won’t want to be seen in public or make the relationship official on social media because they prefer to keep that “single” status and date around even after you get together. They might avoid posting pictures of the two of you or changing their Facebook relationship status, and they’ll invite you to private hang-out sessions rather than public dates.
- Players might even be cagey about their social media and put off friending you on Facebook or following you on other platforms like Twitter and Instagram.
- There’s always a chance that this person genuinely doesn’t feel ready for a relationship—but if they’re not playing you, they’ll usually come out and say that. On the other hand, players just don’t want to be tied down.

1 Set clear boundaries early on in the relationship. Boundaries are important for any relationship because they define what you’re comfortable with and how you want to be treated by other people. You deserve to feel safe and respected around the person you’re dating, so figure out your boundaries and tell your date about them as soon as possible.
- Important boundaries include your communication style, personal space preferences, desire for commitment versus a casual relationship, and expectations for physical intimacy.
- You could say, “I’d like to text regularly, but I don’t want to text multiple times an hour.” That way, if they don’t respect that wish (either by bombarding you with texts or ghosting you), you’ll know it’s not a misunderstanding.
- Another boundary could be, “I’m happy to go on a date each week but I also need time for friends and family.” If a player tries to push for more, you’ll know they’re disregarding your personal boundaries.
2 Wait until the relationship is official for intimacy. Holding off on intimacy until you agree to be a couple is a great way to distinguish players from people looking for genuine relationships. Since players often want intimacy right away, they won’t stick around until things become more serious between you. If your date stays invested, you’ll know they’re interested in you—not just sex.
- Move beyond the looks and charm and focus on getting to know their core values. Find out what they’re like and how they treat you and other people.
- Normally, there’s no “right” amount of time to wait for sex. Hookups can be fun if that’s what you’re looking for, but if not, you can discourage players by saving intimacy for an exclusive relationship.
3 Take responsibility for your dating life. While a player’s behavior is not your fault, it’s important to examine your dating history and think about why players have gotten close to you in the past. If you’ve dated players in the past, there’s often an underlying reason why you overlook the warning signs.
- Nobody likes being played. However, loneliness and a lack of boundaries can cause people to ignore red flags that other people catch easily.
- Do you give away your trust without making other people earn it? Do you give fourth and fifth chances when they’re not deserved? By recognizing these patterns, you can put a stop to them.
4 Steer clear of people with self-esteem issues. Everyone is worthy of love, but severe self-esteem problems can lead to toxic behavior in a relationship—and you shouldn’t have to deal with that. Some people with low self-esteem develop a “player” mentality; they may crave attention and affection from anyone while struggling to give you the love you deserve.
- Self-esteem isn’t a guarantee that someone will be a player, but it’s a good idea to look for the warning signs if you date someone who clearly struggles to value themselves.
5 Love yourself and take time for self-care. Build your self-confidence by accepting your insecurities, recognizing your many talents, and celebrating your accomplishments. Take care of your basic needs and give yourself time for fun, friends, and family. When you’re confident, happy, and surrounded by a strong support system, it’s harder for players to take advantage of you!
- Players work their charm on people who want to find love so badly that they accept and overlook unhealthy behavior. When you’re satisfied with your life, a player’s false promises won’t seem so compelling.
6 Trust your instincts. There’s no denying that your gut feelings are a powerful tool, even if you can’t quite explain why. You might second-guess a date or repeatedly think about canceling because you’re not sure if you want to go. You might even feel like your date is lying or putting on a show without being able to prove it yet. If your instincts tell you that something is wrong, listen to them.
7 Stand up for yourself and be prepared to walk away. Don’t ignore, justify or rationalize the red flags you’re seeing. When you feel like your boundaries aren’t being respected, ask your date to stop. If they show no interest in changing their ways, you’ll know it’s time to walk away.
- Be assertive and confident when you talk to your date. It’s never a bad thing to stand up for yourself!
- You could say, “I feel frustrated when I don’t hear from you for days. It’s important to me to feel connected to the person I’m dating,” or “I’m not ready for sex yet, and I need you to respect that.”
- It can be tough to walk away when you’re already invested in the relationship. Just remember that your peace of mind comes first, and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

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Question How do I stop communicating with a player? This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer Delete their number from your phone and block them on social media. That way, you won’t see little reminders of them (and feel the urge to reach out) anytime you open up a social media app.
Question Why are players mean? Players may act mean for attention or because they have low self-esteem.
Question Can someone “get played” in a non-romantic relationship? That’s not the term that’s typically used, but basically, yes – a person can certainly get manipulated, used, or deceived in a non-romantic relationship.

See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 563,578 times.

Why am I an A player?

When I was at NeXT Software in the mid-1990s, Steve Jobs used to say, to the point we all got sick of hearing it: “A players attract A players. B players attract C players.” This was in the context of making each new hire count, from the most junior to the most senior, regardless of role.

A couple of years ago, I ran into one of our former IT desktop support people who had worked with me at NeXT.
After Apple, this guy had subsequently became the founder and CMO of a successful startup, cashed out, and is now wealthy and working as a high-powered marketing consultant in Silicon Valley.

This is the guy who, fresh out of school, used to fix the network connections on our desktops. Every new hire in every department at NeXT was required to be an “A” player. Given the impact the NeXT technology and team subsequently had on Apple, I think we’ve all seen what happens when that’s true.

An “A” player is one who excels at his or her current job and is always hungry to learn and do more.
They are highly intelligent self-starters, never make excuses, and always find a way to get the job done.
They never quit.
When they make mistakes, they might kick themselves briefly, but mostly they learn and don’t make the same mistake ever again.

As I like to tell my teams: “It’s OK to make mistakes; if you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t learning. Just don’t make the same mistake repeatedly. I want you to go out and make some new mistakes.” You can be an “A” player right out of school, or as a veteran engineer or VP.

It’s not a question of years of experience or current knowledge — it’s a question of attitude and focus.
As a general rule, I’ve found that you are better off hiring “A” players who can learn, than “B” or “C” people who already know.
Sometimes you have no choice but to hire for knowledge.
However in those cases, when building a team, you are better off using these people as “consultants” or educators rather than as team members.

Your go-forward team should consist of “A” players. I’m not talking about firing people for failure. In my experience, 9 times out of 10, this is a mistake. Being an “A” player is not about constant success — it’s about how you respond to setbacks and even failure.

An “A” player learns, adjusts, and tries again until they do succeed. That being said, you can be an “A” player in the wrong role. That doesn’t make you any less of an “A” player. It means that you or your manager (who you’ve hopefully picked to be an “A” player yourself) has some work to do to get you in the right place.

A surprising fact: “A” players don’t necessarily cost any more to hire than “B” players. As Steve Jobs implied, an “A” player will be attracted to working with other “A” players. Learning and growing by doing interesting work and being on the best possible team is their principle motivation.

They certainly don’t want to be unfairly paid, but once the money is taken care of, the quality of the work and their ability to learn from the other “A” players around them is what matters. What it does cost you to assemble an “A” team is time, energy, and the willingness (you could call it ruthlessness) to do so.

Being so selective is hard work. However, as the world has seen from the NeXT people and technology that contributed to the success of Apple — including Steve Jobs himself — the payoff can be almost beyond belief.

Can you tell if a guy is a player?

Download Article Download Article Most girls (and women) have been there. They’re worried a guy they like is a player, but how can you tell for sure? There are telltale signs that the boy you love is a player but these aren’t always 100% accurate. However, when a lot of these red flags crop up, you would be wise to be wary.

1 Study his smoothness. Boys who are players aren’t going to be nervous, stammering types around a girl. They will seem almost too practiced, and they will flirt with you with ease because it’s a game to them, and they’ve done this before. For example:
- They will always have a rehearsed pickup line or a flirty joke. You’ll think he’s “prince charming” and like you can do no wrong in his eyes.
- They’re brimming with confidence around you, talk with ease, and say everything that a girl would want to hear. However, they speak in generalities rather than including meaningful details.
- They do these things before they really get to know you and will go over the top to impress. Their words sound fake and artificial.
2 Spot over-the-top flattery, A guy who is a player will seem more interested in you than anyone has before. At first. However, he will then cheat or just leave you once he gets what he wants, which is physical intimacy and/or your affirmation. For example:
- He’ll try to get you to feel important by showering your with flattery. He may pretend that you share interests so that you’ll be amazed how much you have in common.
- Some flattery is sincere. Pay attention to how much, how often, and to what degree he does it. A player’s flattery will be over-the-top.
- Be wary of “love bombing.” This is where he bombs you with endearment, praise, clings to everything you say, pampers you, and puts you on a pedestal. His flattery will focus primarily on your looks.
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3 Pay attention to what he never says. There are certain words that a player is likely to never say to you. Although the player is very talkative, he’s not going to sacrifice being in control.
- A player is unlikely to say “I love you.” There are a few players who will say this just to get what they want and not mean it, but generally speaking, a player won’t utter those words because he doesn’t want you to think this is long term.
- A player won’t say that it’s up to you to decide what to do when it comes to going out. That’s because he’s not really interested in your life, hobbies, desires or activities.
- A player stays in control of the timing and venue. He might even require that you only meet inside his or your home so others don’t see you.
- If he tries to have sex with you and doesn’t have a condom, it’s less likely he’s a player. A player will always come prepared because he does this a lot.
4 Pay attention to how he talks about past girlfriends. If a guy is a player, he’s probably hurt a lot of women or girls before. In order to throw you off the scent, he will project his behavior on them. He will act like he was victimized by them.
- He will trash talk his exes, by calling them “psycho” or “crazy” and try to make you think that he was the victim and the breakup was all their fault.
- If he does this repeatedly or about more than one person, start questioning whether the person engaging in bad behavior was actually him.
- Pay attention to how other girls in his orbit treat you. Players tend to have lots of girls around them, especially desperate ones who seem angry at them.

1 Notice if he flirts with other girls. A guy who is a player isn’t going to be satisfied with just the attention of one girl, you. Instead, he will seek affirmation from many girls and in many corners, and he will sometimes do this when he is with you.
- He likes being in the spotlight and gets pleasure from female attention. He wants to “capture” as many girls as he can, as if making another notch on his belt.
- He will flirt with lots of girls because he likes to have them chasing him or interested in him. He’ll entice them to crush on him through things like steady eye contact.
- He will flirt with others by smiling, telling jokes, and initiating friendly conversation. If you confront him, he’ll deny that he was flirting with other people.
2 Spot whether he moves too fast. A guy who is a player is interested in physical contact with you right away. Since that’s often his central goal, he sees no reason to take it slow. He is eager to cut to the chase and get what he’s really after.
- He won’t bother to develop emotional intimacy because all he wants is physical intimacy. He’ll go for it faster than a guy who’s truly interested in developing a longer term relationship with you.
- He will touch you on the first date, perhaps by kissing you (or even trying to move farther if you will let him). He sees no reason to patiently wait.
- By the second date, his patience will be exhausted, and he may try to get physical with you. If he senses that you want to go slower, he’ll move on to be someone else with whom with he has a better chance.
3 Study his actions. A lot of girls make the mistake of focusing on a boy’s words instead of paying attention to his actions. A player will do things like act like it’s a chore to find time for you. His pretty words may be designed to flatter you by luring you into liking him. Focus on what he does, not what he says. For example:
- He’s a player if he texts you at the last minute, controls when he sees you, and vanishes for long periods of time. A genuine guy will give you more freedom.
- He’s not a player if he asks you on actual dates and wants you to meet his friends and family. A player will be mysterious and hide aspects of his personal life.
- A player may text you right as bars or restaurants are closing because he secretly doesn’t want it to be a date. A non-player will plan ahead with you.
4 Watch his body language. A player thinks he’s charming, and he plays it to the hilt. He’s a flirtatious, overly confident, braggart. He thinks he’s all that, so he doesn’t try to pretend to be humble. For example:
- A player will swagger or strut when he walks. He will sometimes smirk, as if he has a hidden secret.
- A player will often touch other people a lot, but he’ll avoid public displays of affection with you around other people. He’ll only be affectionate in private.
- A player will be an extrovert and outgoing. He’ll talk a lot and enjoy being the center of attention. He’ll also use a lot of direct eye contact, one of the strongest signs of a player.
5 Figure out whether he answers the phone right away. A player won’t be able to answer the phone right away all the time. The reason: There are people he doesn’t want to know about you, and he might be with one of them at that time.
- Perhaps he’s with another girl. Perhaps he’s with guy friends. Perhaps he’s with family members. The key is that he doesn’t want them to know you’re calling.
- He screens his calls. He’ll call you back, but he won’t answer the phone right away. Similarly, if he doesn’t answer his phone when you’re with him, there may be another girl that he doesn’t want you to know about.
- The same goes for texting. If he takes forever to respond to a text, there could be a reason for it: He’s busy with someone else. He would never let you see his texts.

1 Analyze whether you’re impulsive around him. Boys who are players will try to trigger impulsiveness in you because this works out to their advantage; they want you to violate your boundaries on physical intimacy fast. For example:
- He allows you to think that there’s an instant emotional connection, perhaps even saying that you’re soulmates or sending you romantic songs.
- He’s trying to get you to cross your boundaries so that he can get what he is after, which is physical intimacy.
- He’ll lose interest in a girl who reasserts her boundaries, seems very cautious, and requires patience because he’s not really interested in a relationship.
2 Make him wait. The best way to sort out for sure whether a guy is a player or not is to make him wait a significant time for any physical intimacy with you.
- If he’s not a player, he will be OK with this and respect you more because you’re not “easy.”
- If he’s a player, he’ll be annoyed by this and will try to cajole you into breaking your boundaries. When this doesn’t work, he’ll dump you. Be aware, however, that some players who can wait a long time to get what they want.
3 Pay attention to whether he keeps you secret. A player will have a reason to either keep you secret or just to downplay your relationship to others so that he can keep playing the field with other girls.
- The reason is sadly that he wants to keep his options open to mess around with lots of girls, and if he tells people he has a girlfriend, other girls might stay away.
- It’s important to see whether he tells other people about you, and whether he downplays the state of the relationship to them if he does.
- Does he say things to you that indicate you’re exclusive, but acts distant to you around other people? If he’s downplaying you, he’s probably a player.
4 Pay attention to his relationships. Other people around him, who have known him longer, will have had time to see his patterns. Check out his other relationships, and maybe talk to some of those people. For example:
- If his friends don’t think highly of him, they’ve probably observed his bad behavior. Another bad sign is if his male friends are also known players.
- Is he mostly friends with girls? That’s a bad sign. It means that guys have figured out he’s not a very good person, and he doesn’t like the male competition.
- Is he still connected to his ex in a way that goes beyond being platonic? Do girls seem desperate around him or are now angry at him? If so, he probably did to them what he’s about to do to you.
5 See whether he cares a lot about his appearance. It’s good if a boy cares if he looks nice. That’s not the point. But if he’s over the top about it, there’s a greater chance he’s a player.
- For example, a player will spend a lot of time working out and will brag about and show off his muscles. He puts a high premium on physical appearance.
- This will extend to how he dresses. He will likely be seen in nice clothes, including flashing expensive labels to show off.
- His car will also be flashy. There’s nothing subtle about this guy. He uses his body, his clothes, and his car to draw girls.
6 Check out his social media. The way a guy presents himself on social media can give you a sense of whether he is a player or not. If he is a player, he will use social media to try to attract girls.
- Check his relationship status. Players may often pretend that they’re single online or hide their status.
- Players will have lots of attractive girls on their friend list. Their comments will be flirty in nature.
- Their photos and videos on social media sites will be designed to showcase their physical attractiveness. He won’t seem to mind or discourage flirting.

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Question What does it mean when a guy is a player? Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master’s in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. Relationship Coach Expert Answer A player is someone who doesn’t really want a relationship, but they may be dishonest about their attentions because they want sex or attention. When you’re dating, look out for a false myth, or a lack of sincerity in the way someone holds themselves. If you listen to your body, your intuition, and your heart, you can usually tell if someone is being genuine or not.
Question See if your boyfriend’s friend tells you to ‘die’ and your boyfriend doesn’t do anything but just laughs, what does this mean? It means he’s immature and cares more about looking cool to his friend than your hurt feelings. Not a good sign.
Question The guy I like likes me back but he is a player and has had 3 girlfriends since we found out we liked each other. He keeps flirting with my best friend, and I’m starting to wonder if he actually likes me. What do you think? He told me he didn’t, but I’m starting to think otherwise. Your answer is right in your comment. If he’s flirting with your best friend and he has had three other girlfriends and told you he doesn’t like you, then, minimally, he also likes other people. This guy will cause nothing but pain. The writing is on the wall. Look elsewhere.

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Notice if he stares at girls when you’re around. This means that he may not be listening to you or caring too much about the conversation.
If your family members or friends hate him, there’s probably a good reason.
Do people refer to him as a player?

Show More Tips Advertisement Article Summary X If the boy you love is a player, there should be red flags to watch out for, like moving fast and flirting with other girls. It’s great for a boy to compliment you, but if he’s always flattering you and telling you how perfect you are, be careful.

Players will try to make you feel really special without taking the time to get to know you. If he wants to get physical with you right away, he’s probably a player. If a boy really likes you, he’ll wait until you’re comfortable. A player will also be flirty with lots of other girls to keep his options open.

If he avoids you around other people or tries to keep your relationship a secret, it might be because he’s trying to play the field. For more tips from our Relationship co-author, including how to tell if a boy is a player by his social media accounts, read on! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 252,790 times.

Is he interested or just a player?

16) He flirts with other women – A guy who flirts with other women when he’s with you is a player. He’s probably trying to boost his ego and make you feel jealous. If he’s flirting with other women while he’s dating you, that’s a sign that he’s not interested in a relationship and just wants to have fun.

But if you really like this guy and want him to have eyes only for you – you really need to work on triggering his hero instinct,
It’s the only way.
By doing that you’ll be setting yourself apart from all the other women he might be interested in.
So what are you waiting for? Trigger his hero instinct and get him to commit to you, and only you.

Here’s a link to the free video again,